September 16, 2011 SOUNDS ⁄  MOS DEF RETIRES… HIS NAME

Last week, Mos Def revealed that he’s going to follow in the footsteps of all good rappers floundering in mediocrity with their best days behind them and change his name. Yup, that’s right, much like Prince or Puffy Daddy.( No wait, P.Diddy, right? Or isn’t it just Diddy now? I swear his last song was by Diddy Dirty Money, wasn’t it? Seriously, he’s just getting greedy with names now.)

Anyway, Mos Def is now going to be known as Yasiin. Apparently, it’s so that there is no separation between the self that he sees and who he knows himself as. Yeah, and that ‘starring Mos Def’ is just going to look stupid when Season 6 of Dexter starts.

Here’s my Top Five Other Rappers Who Should Change Their Name:

Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em – A name you feel stupid saying is never a good name.
The 69 Boys – they came together over their mutal love of 69’ing girls but ended up sounding like they just 69’ed each other
Bubba Sparxxx – Because it sounds like a fat pornstar’s name.
Shorty Shitstain – makes Ol’ Dirty Bastard sound acceptable in church.
Ja Rule – nothing wrong with the name as such, the man is just a dickhead.

By Matt Allinson