March 6, 2013 SIGHTS ⁄  R. Kelly ‘Ignition’ for US National Anthem?

R. Kelly ‘Ignition’ for US National Anthem?

Oh, imagine the patriotic Superbowl vibes as Taylor Swift delivers the couplet, “You must be a football coach/ The way you got me playin the field”.  Half-time Christina Aguilera could have worked the loucheness “I’m like so what I’m drunk” instead of slopping through all those S’s in the Star-Spangled Borer. Just 100,000 votes for the White House to be forced into considering the official petition, launched today.

Excerpts from the case for a revision to the ultimate All-American jam read, “We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognise the need for a new national anthem,” says the form. “One that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out of the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814,” the plea continues. “Since then, we have realised that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and – perhaps most importantly – that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody.

Where do we sign? [right here]